[ it was easier. all he had to do was listen, but somehow, he failed even that. he doesn’t know how much the archangel knows—if he remembers dextera’s willful rebellions that quietly reset the world. ]
I…
[ he won’t. he knows that. he refuses to let himself carry the burden of a new world again. ]
I can’t. I’m afraid to abandon the world before I remember who I am.
[ Archangel can't ignore that statement. He's heard something about how time has been warped for people. It warms his heart, as it feels like this world is truly trying to right the wrongs of his own. Perhaps, he could acquire the power of the Absolute God here? Could he bring paradise to this place? ]
[ not much of anything, truthfully, and he’s hesitant to reveal too much.
…or, he would be, but he has no other choice. he’s the one who came to the archangel, and playing coy with him does neither of them any favors. perhaps if he’s honest, something can come of it. ]
I… don’t know. I was told so many different things. I saw myself, hundreds of times… but this is the real me. This is my last chance.
[ he knows he had clones, but not who cloned him. not that it matters anymore. ]
[ Dextera is not accusing him of anything, however. That is surprising. No, even when he learned everything, Archangel was never accused of anything. Why was that? He didn't think that he was granted forgiveness, either. What he wanted from Dextera; he did not receive. But he did not feel hated at that time.
Forgotten? Ignored? What was it?
His mind picks out various answers and none of them are any closer to the truth. It seems like he will not be able to ask that Dextera what he was thinking and why. Why did he leave him there? He was the only person he showed such weakness to, so why?
Ah, well. ]
That is how you view it, then. You are yourself and this is your only life now. [ Well. ] I guess that isn't quite true. You can still be killed and brought back, but you can finally try to get atonement for your sins.
The world was destroyed because of you, and so you want to bring it back. Is that about it? [ Archangel feels like he has rehashed this part with Dextera once before; he feels like he will continue to ask the reason why that world has to be brought back. If he could, he would remake it. But since it sounds like it will just be the same ruined mess as before -- why save it? ]
[ the archangel seems to understand, and dextera is… relieved. after all, he hasn’t yet said anything that would imply cruel judgment of dextera’s decisions, which is not something he is entirely sure he can take at this point. it makes sense to him, the path that he’s chosen.
but, the archangel was right—the path is not necessarily going to be a successful one, and their failure with the oracle has proven that. ]
I know… you don’t agree. But I…
[ in the end, he knows he’s still running away. he chose this because it’s easier than creating a new world. ]
I don’t think I can create the world you want. But if we go back… if we go back, then… it’ll be like it was before.
[ He cannot help but sneer. He will always believe Dextera will create the world he wants, and he hates the idea of going back to that world, if only because he knows how the story will end. Here, the story can end differently.
The only problem is not having the Absolute God's power. ]
You know... I decided to do a test. I would act as I believe was right in that frozen time. I would save as many people as I could and if I was wrong, if Zenith failed, then ... I would admit my way was flawed. [ Is he attributing Zenith's win to his actions? Why, yes, yes he is! ] I was not wrong... the way I am going forward is not wrong.
I am troubled by the fact you continue to tread the same worn and broken path... when will you be satisfied with failure?
[ this is the reason he apologized in the first place. he knew the archangel was right, he knows the archangel is still right, and that’s why it feels so bad to be scolded. then again, he came to the archangel with the knowledge that this is exactly how the conversation would go. ]
I’m sorry. [ simply, softly. ] I don’t know any other way to be. When I learn… maybe I’ll join you.
[Still, he gives the feeling of reaching out to touch his face, patient and attentive. He can't (won't) cover up his anger, but that is because Dextera is the only person he can be honest with. ]
But you did come to me wanting to have my orders, again. Still... there are things that you will not yield on. Perhaps, I should make my commands simple so as not to tread too cruelly on what you hold onto until you learn.
[ A beat. But what order would that be? He can't ask him to betray Cyrus. He can't ask him to kill anyone in Meridian that he feels is a threat to his control over Dextera. Yet he does not want to give up this rare opportunity. ]
Denounce the Absolute God to others. I think that would be enough to start... for if it was not for Her, you would not be suffering as you are now.
[ the archangel doesn’t understand what he’s asking. or, no—he understands it perfectly, which is exactly why he’s giving dextera this request.
dextera, oddly, finds himself relieved with it. the absolute god is everything to him, but not here. she isn’t here, and what she could have offered him isn’t here either. for now, he can comply, and it will make the archangel happy. this is the best compromise that he could have been offered, and gratitude fills the space of their communion. ]
…okay.
[ he’s quiet because that is his nature; it’s not reluctance, as the archangel might have expected. ]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2023-02-08 04:28 pm (UTC)I…
[ he won’t. he knows that. he refuses to let himself carry the burden of a new world again. ]
I can’t. I’m afraid to abandon the world before I remember who I am.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-09 05:50 am (UTC)[ Archangel can't ignore that statement. He's heard something about how time has been warped for people. It warms his heart, as it feels like this world is truly trying to right the wrongs of his own. Perhaps, he could acquire the power of the Absolute God here? Could he bring paradise to this place? ]
What do you know?
no subject
Date: 2023-02-13 03:38 pm (UTC)…or, he would be, but he has no other choice. he’s the one who came to the archangel, and playing coy with him does neither of them any favors. perhaps if he’s honest, something can come of it. ]
I… don’t know. I was told so many different things. I saw myself, hundreds of times… but this is the real me. This is my last chance.
[ he knows he had clones, but not who cloned him. not that it matters anymore. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-21 04:21 am (UTC)[ Dextera is not accusing him of anything, however. That is surprising. No, even when he learned everything, Archangel was never accused of anything. Why was that? He didn't think that he was granted forgiveness, either. What he wanted from Dextera; he did not receive. But he did not feel hated at that time.
Forgotten? Ignored? What was it?
His mind picks out various answers and none of them are any closer to the truth. It seems like he will not be able to ask that Dextera what he was thinking and why. Why did he leave him there? He was the only person he showed such weakness to, so why?
Ah, well. ]
That is how you view it, then. You are yourself and this is your only life now. [ Well. ] I guess that isn't quite true. You can still be killed and brought back, but you can finally try to get atonement for your sins.
The world was destroyed because of you, and so you want to bring it back. Is that about it? [ Archangel feels like he has rehashed this part with Dextera once before; he feels like he will continue to ask the reason why that world has to be brought back. If he could, he would remake it. But since it sounds like it will just be the same ruined mess as before -- why save it? ]
no subject
Date: 2023-02-24 01:29 pm (UTC)but, the archangel was right—the path is not necessarily going to be a successful one, and their failure with the oracle has proven that. ]
I know… you don’t agree. But I…
[ in the end, he knows he’s still running away. he chose this because it’s easier than creating a new world. ]
I don’t think I can create the world you want. But if we go back… if we go back, then… it’ll be like it was before.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 03:23 am (UTC)[ He cannot help but sneer. He will always believe Dextera will create the world he wants, and he hates the idea of going back to that world, if only because he knows how the story will end. Here, the story can end differently.
The only problem is not having the Absolute God's power. ]
You know... I decided to do a test. I would act as I believe was right in that frozen time. I would save as many people as I could and if I was wrong, if Zenith failed, then ... I would admit my way was flawed. [ Is he attributing Zenith's win to his actions? Why, yes, yes he is! ] I was not wrong... the way I am going forward is not wrong.
I am troubled by the fact you continue to tread the same worn and broken path... when will you be satisfied with failure?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 01:55 pm (UTC)…
[ this is the reason he apologized in the first place. he knew the archangel was right, he knows the archangel is still right, and that’s why it feels so bad to be scolded. then again, he came to the archangel with the knowledge that this is exactly how the conversation would go. ]
I’m sorry. [ simply, softly. ] I don’t know any other way to be. When I learn… maybe I’ll join you.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-05 05:37 am (UTC)[Still, he gives the feeling of reaching out to touch his face, patient and attentive. He can't (won't) cover up his anger, but that is because Dextera is the only person he can be honest with. ]
But you did come to me wanting to have my orders, again. Still... there are things that you will not yield on. Perhaps, I should make my commands simple so as not to tread too cruelly on what you hold onto until you learn.
[ A beat. But what order would that be? He can't ask him to betray Cyrus. He can't ask him to kill anyone in Meridian that he feels is a threat to his control over Dextera. Yet he does not want to give up this rare opportunity. ]
Denounce the Absolute God to others. I think that would be enough to start... for if it was not for Her, you would not be suffering as you are now.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-08 02:48 pm (UTC)dextera, oddly, finds himself relieved with it. the absolute god is everything to him, but not here. she isn’t here, and what she could have offered him isn’t here either. for now, he can comply, and it will make the archangel happy. this is the best compromise that he could have been offered, and gratitude fills the space of their communion. ]
…okay.
[ he’s quiet because that is his nature; it’s not reluctance, as the archangel might have expected. ]
I will. I will.
1/2
Date: 2023-03-12 02:58 am (UTC)He isn't sure why. Isn't this what he wanted? It is. So, that's all there is to it, right? Of course, right? ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-12 02:59 am (UTC)Then, that is all that you need to do for now...
[ Until his failures pile up and he finally decides to join Zenith. ]